Changes

It's Sunday morning, I was wide awake at 5am.  The one big thing that stinks about being a night shifter, my sleep schedule is jacked when I want to be a normal person for a couple of days.  That also means I feel like I have lack of sleep during the day time which is probably why I had a bit of a freak out last night; we are moving in 3 weeks and we have nothing packed or planned or anything.  I generally have anxiety about traveling, moving, or changing aspects of my life....this is going to involve all 3 so yes, I am a bit anxious about it.  Oh and our master bathroom is gutted to the studs still (has been for 3 weeks now).

My current remedy for all of this craziness is to listen to music and dance around the office. In about 10 minutes I am going to go get some dunkin donuts coffee and go to church and pray that God makes the rest of this process fall into place easily like everything else has done so far.  

Despite all of my anxiety, I have this giddy feeling deep down.  I am going to be closer to help raise my nieces and nephews...its the next best thing to having my own children.  Mike keeps telling me he knows we will get our own...he feels it.  I hope that is God talking to his heart even though he doesn't always believe in Him.  In the mean time these 5 will do :)

Ouch!!

I am only 32 years old and I feel like I am 50; what in the heck and I going to feel like at 50?  Since I have diagnosed myself as an emotional eater and gone on this quest to lose some weight I feel like I hurt more; isn't supposed to be that you hurt less?  Anyway when I hurt I just want to veg and eat; it feels better than moving around sometimes  :(  

I made rice crispy bars on Sunday just because...Mike and I ate the whole pan and I feel like I ate more than he did.  What can I say, they are my favorite and they were sooooo good.  Needless to say, I did not lose any weight this last week.  Holding steady at 11 pounds down.  I think getting down to 130 is is pretty lofty goal since I have spent the majority of my life at 140 so if I can get back to that I will never say I am fat again...I am thinking that means no more making rice crispy bars cause this girl can't stop eating them until they are gone!!

Falling into place

So I wasn't looking for a job and I got a job; we weren't going to move until after the first of the year and now we are listing our house and moving by Nov. 1st; we didn't have a place to move into and now my brother-in-law's renters moved out. If we were not supposed to go back to NE the world has a funny way of showing it. I of course in a million years never thought we would be moving back into our old house that we sold 8 years ago, but this time next month we will be occupying that residence once again. What next, we get a kid???? I mean, I am just rolling with it here and it seems to be working out, I won't push it with a kid :) AND...I've lost 2 more pounds...I'm going to back in my old jeans in no time. Life is pretty good right now. I have prayed for the Lord to get me through my darkest days and now the light is shining...thank you Jesus!!!!

Go Me!!

I am so proud of myself.  I weighed in this morning and I am down 2 more pounds for a total of 9 pounds lost for me.  This has been really hard for me, but I am doing it and I finally feel motivated!!

What a Weekend

So this weekend I made some life changing decisions.  I had an interview on Friday that went well and then I got a call this morning with an offer...EEEKKKK!  Now the ball is my court.  I had them email me the offer in writing so I could make sure it is really what I want.  I love my job now so I don't want to settle for a job.  I mean this is my career we are talking about...I want to be happy.  I am terrified now to tell my current job, to move, to find a place to live...holy smokes this is happening fast.  I applied thinking I wouldn't even get an interview.  Obviously my life is not in my hands, there is a bigger force working that knows whats best for me.

Growing up is hard

So another week has passed and I didn't lose a single pound.  This calorie counting thing is freaking hard and it sucks to.  I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted to and now I am only aloud 1300 calories and it looks like I am going to need to drop down to 1200.  If anything, this has taught me I am an emotional eater and a habit eater.  Man growing up is hard to do.

On a brighter note I applied for a job in Lincoln on a whim thinking there is no way I would get an interview and low and behold, I got an interview.  Life is going to happen way different than we expected if I get this job.  Crazy how things work!!

Making Changes

It is amazes me how emotions rule my life.  In the last year I have gained weight, kept an messy house, and some days barely made it out of bed literally sleeping 18-19 of 24 hours in a day.  Working nights has played into this a little, but the overwhelming feeling of loss is what contributes to the majority of my issues. I miss my grandma like crazy, I can't have children and now I am going though "the change" at 32 years old.

One week ago today I made a conscious decision to get rid of some of this weight I have put on over the last two years.  I am at the heaviest I have ever been and it just makes things worse for me when my clothes don't fit.  Today I weighed in and I am down 6 pounds.  I realize some of this is water weight that the cleanse I am doing is getting rid of and so the weight loss will slow down, but for now I feel on track.  I even worked out yesterday for the first time in who knows how long.

Even though I can't change the fact my eggs suck and I can't change the fact that my body thinks its older than it is; I can change my life style and eating habits.  I can do this.  I will do this.