Too Soon

I spoke too soon about sleeping well and transitioning from nights to days and days to night. I am not sleeping well at all. I guess one week of work was not enough to give me night shift problems, but two weeks apparently is. Here I sit awake at midnight while the rest of my family sleeps soundly. I've been more irritable and snappy at Mike. Sleep is one issue the other is my sister leaving. She has been here since May and helped tremendously with the baby and Mike transitioning to a night care taker. She is that close friend I long for. The one I can show up uninvited and have a beer with. The one who I can vent to and she won't judge. She is leaving me way too soon. A week from Sunday is coming way too fast. I want her to want to stay in Lincoln. How do I make that happen? She has been my rock when the rest of my family has moved on from our drama. Well our drama is still here and I still need my rock. My person who won't judge or walk away. And now she is walking away. This is all happening way too soon for me and I'm not ready for that change to happen.

Back to work

Last week was my first days back to work since my little miracle came a long. Although it was hard to leave that first night, I have now fallen into my regular routine.  The only difference now is I work nights, but I do not live on nights.  I am not forced to flip my schedule back to days as soon as I am not working.  Surprisingly it has not been that hard.  James sleeps like a champ and naps like a champ which is helping function the day after I work.  My whole outlook in life has changed.  For the first time in years I feel like I am living for the day instead of just existing through the day.  I feel happy.  I feel complete.  Every time I look at this little miracle laying in my arms I thank God that his plan is so perfect.  That the wait was worth it.  That everything feels the way it should be.  God has been so good to us and I am so excited to see what else He has in store for us.