Chapter Closed

Today we accepted an offer on our house in St. Joe.  This is bitter sweet for me.  I went to St. Joe 9 years ago hating everything about the town except for our house. I learned to love parts of St. Joe (mostly the people) and now we are officially closing that chapter of our lives.  I commemoration of this event we will be demoing our main bathroom.  I am a bit nervous.

Watch Out!!

To ease my mind about inviting the neighborhood homeless into our yard, Mike bought me a stun gun. More like a stun stick. Given Mike's history of depression I refuse to allow a gun into my house, but I felt like we needed some sort of protection given we live in slummy area of town and that there is a half-way house caddie-corner from our back yard. There are more than a few shady looking people that we see every day and having something that will give me a second to get away and run is what I wanted. I was thinking some pepper spray or mace to have handy and Mike comes home with a stun stick. The thing sounds terrifying and he wants me to try it out on him. He is crazy...I don't even want to try it in the air. The directions state that 1-4 seconds will leave you a bit confused and 5 or more seconds will leave you incapacitated for a few minutes. Of course results may vary. I picture Mike laying on the floor in a puddle of his own urine because he wanted me to try this thing on him and he was one of the few that the result varied. I refuse to practice on him end of story. Regardless of my lack of practicing I will at the very least have a small metal stick I can hit an assailant over the head with and that is sufficient enough for me.

A New Start

I remember this house being creepy, dark and cold.  I was sure I would hate being here alone.  After living here a few months now I realized that it is not that bad.  I am not scared living here and with just Mike and I in the house, it defiantly feels more homey than it did 10 years ago.  Now that we are buying this house again, there are things we want to update, fix and improve.  It is amazing how 10 years and 2 professional incomes can change your eye for what looks good.

With Mike's A.D.H.D. we have multiple projects always going on and none being finished.  This week he decided to tackle the yard even though I feel it is a lost cause.  A 20 year old kid in the neighborhood saw Mike outside and asked if there was anything he could do around here for a couple of bucks while he was between jobs.  For what ever reason, Mike felt a charitable obligation to help this kid out before consulting me.  This is something he has never done before and without talking to me first, will never do again.

I am a faithful person.  I talk to God on a regular basis, I go to church, I tithe, I volunteer in my community. I have unintentionally drawn the line at helping out a fellow human being who walks up to me at my home based on the media and the movies reminding me of how strangers are danger.  Reflecting on this makes me sad.  I have lost trust of those unknown to me in a private setting for fear of being taken advantage of, robbed, assaulted, rapped  or killed.  After working around the outside of the house for a few hours with Mike, we have learned that this kid has had a rough life and seems genuine about wanting to better himself. He is virtually homeless (he is crashing on a friends couch), he has no transportation, he has no self care products (tooth brush, soap, shampoo, etc.), and he has not eaten in a few days.  Now my heart is breaking for this kid.  I still do not trust him, but I feel a responsibility to help him.  He wants a new start and he is willing to work for it and from what Mike said he has done a good job.

I know this doesn't mean I am going to invite every troubled kid into my life, but maybe this is God's way of changing my view point and opening my mind a bit...kind of like a new start to a different way of viewing others.

Atta Girl!

Friday before I left work my boss wanted to get some feedback from me on what I thought was working and what I thought we could do better.  And then she asked me how I felt like I could be more engaged with my job?  I had to think and just gave her a generic answer of we could use some better team work around here.  Last night I walked out and got the mail before I went to night 3 of 3 in a row for me this week and opened this card.  I almost started crying by what it said.  At that moment I realized that I don't go to work for my job, I go to work for my patients.  And I don't feel bad sharing my story with them because we can then somehow connect on a deeper level.

When I initially read this card, I had no idea who this David Reese guy was, but after asking around I found out he is some VP type big wig...I was floored that he was impressed enough to tell me thank you.  So David Reese if you ever somehow stumble upon this entry...Thank you for making my night and making me realize that I could care less what the company/hospital can do for me...I really only care about my patients and how they feel at the end of my shift.  I only care that I did everything for my patient that I could to make her stay as good as it could possibly be.  This is why I am a nurse.

A New Start

So we have made the decision to make this dump we are living in our dump.  We are buying this house for 3 reasons. 1. Because Mike cannot let things go and just has to fix stuff; 2. So we are not in a constant state of limbo; 3. So we can save a few dollars (our mortgage will be cheaper than our rent here).

I am actually excited about this.  I can unpack our boxes, I can hang stuff on the walls and I can claim the rest of the house...we have been trying to keep things on the main level.  I can now clean and feel I am not just doing it for the next viewer/potential buyer.  Adding the possession of "mine" to the equation makes it easier to make things look the way we like it.

Now for our house in St Joe to sell...it would make the whole transaction complete.

Our Plan

I haven't blogged for awhile. Life has been a bit chaotic. My grandpa died on New year's eve.  I was again reminded how a plan is set for me. Mike found a job here, I found a job so easily. We found a place to live and I got to spend the last 2 months of my grandpa's life with him. I was able to promise him that I would take care of grandma. I've held up that promise.

Our house hasn't sold yet and we are still living in a house that is less than ideal, but life is happening to His plan. The way it is supposed to. It's refreshing to know I am being looked out for.