Watch Out!!

To ease my mind about inviting the neighborhood homeless into our yard, Mike bought me a stun gun. More like a stun stick. Given Mike's history of depression I refuse to allow a gun into my house, but I felt like we needed some sort of protection given we live in slummy area of town and that there is a half-way house caddie-corner from our back yard. There are more than a few shady looking people that we see every day and having something that will give me a second to get away and run is what I wanted. I was thinking some pepper spray or mace to have handy and Mike comes home with a stun stick. The thing sounds terrifying and he wants me to try it out on him. He is crazy...I don't even want to try it in the air. The directions state that 1-4 seconds will leave you a bit confused and 5 or more seconds will leave you incapacitated for a few minutes. Of course results may vary. I picture Mike laying on the floor in a puddle of his own urine because he wanted me to try this thing on him and he was one of the few that the result varied. I refuse to practice on him end of story. Regardless of my lack of practicing I will at the very least have a small metal stick I can hit an assailant over the head with and that is sufficient enough for me.