1st night back???

Tonight I felt like I should have on my first night back to work.  The baby was fussy and crying and didn't want to be put down and I had to walk out the door and go to work.  I cried the whole way there.  I don't know if it was because he wanted me or if it was because I was leaving him with Mike and my sister is not there.  I felt horrible.  My sister left to go home to NC on Sunday and I have been in a funk ever since.  She has been my complete support system for the last 3 months and now that she is gone I realize that.  Even though she didn't do much with us it was just nice knowing another person was there at night to help Mike if he needed it.  Not that Mike isn't competent to take care of our child because he is, but having a back up person just in case helps this mamma focus on work.  Tonight all I can think about is if they are doing ok and if he stopped crying and if he is sleeping ok.  Ugh.  Working and being a mom is so hard.  Maybe one day soon I can just be a mom.  I can hope.